Christmas Heels: Festive Shoes and Seasonal Misjudgements
Christmas shopping begins earlier every year. By November, the shops have become elaborate exhibitions of glitter, red velvet and people searching for parking spaces with the determination of medieval armies. Naturally, this is the season when fashion suggests we wear our least practical shoes.
I have no objection to festive heels. I adore them. Gold pumps, burgundy boots, a discreet little buckle that turns out to be the size of a Christmas ornament. But I refuse to let the phrase holiday sparkle become a formal waiver of common sense.
There are presents to carry. There may be ice. Relatives will make comments. My dear reader, we must prepare.
Red, gold, silver: the unofficial Christmas coalition
Red heels with black trousers look splendid. So do dark green velvet shoes with a cream outfit, or metallic pumps that catch the light beneath an otherwise plain dress. The easiest holiday styling trick is to select one extravagant element and let everything around it behave.
A black suit with burgundy heeled boots feels festive without looking like Santa has joined the board of directors. A glittering pump under a long skirt becomes visible whenever the hem moves. A red Mary Jane can make an ordinary winter outfit faintly mischievous. I have long suspected that a sensible coat and an indecent shoe are among the better combinations in fashion.
If you're trying to decide whether to go polished or theatrical, Patent Leather Heels handles the reflective end of the spectrum. Decorative Heels is for those who believe moderation was a clerical error.
The weather has not received your outfit brief
There are places where Christmas means warm evenings. There are others where it means freezing rain, slush and pavements designed by someone with a grudge. Do not confuse a smooth leather sole with a winter tyre.
If conditions are icy or snowy, wear shoes with traction for the journey and change into your party heels indoors. Carry them in a bag. A thoughtful host will understand; an unthoughtful host does not get a vote. The US National Weather Service's winter safety advice explicitly recommends footwear with rubber treads and short, cautious steps on icy surfaces.
Heels can be worn outdoors in appropriate conditions, of course. But an elegant entrance is slightly undermined by an ambulance. I'd rather arrive in boots and make my dramatic transformation beside the coat rack.
When your party lasts longer than your feet
Holiday gatherings are social endurance tests disguised as dinners. You may stand in a kitchen, walk between rooms, queue for drinks and dance to music that should probably have been retired with the cassette tape. A beautiful shoe chosen for a seated dinner may be a poor shoe for three hours of standing.
Look for a secure fastening, adequate toe room and a stable base. A block heel may be more forgiving than a narrow stiletto, though it still needs to fit well. Some ankle boots keep the foot more securely enclosed. A platform can be surprisingly comfortable on one foot and a catastrophe on another, depending on its geometry.
The South Tees NHS footwear advice recommends footwear that fits from the start rather than relying on a painful break-in. For the full theory of comfort, see Most Comfortable High Heels for Men. For an easy everyday option, I remain fond of Block Heels.
Gifting high heels: please do not guess the size
A pair of heels can be a delicious gift, provided you know the recipient's preferences and measurements. If you don't, surprise them with a shopping trip, a gift card from a reputable store, or a photograph of the style you're considering. It's more romantic than receiving the wrong size and pretending that the return label is part of the decoration.
The size printed in one manufacturer's shoe is not a universal truth. Forefoot width, toe-box depth and the heel's hold matter. Men's and women's size systems are especially unhelpful when crossed without measuring. My Heel Width Explained article explains the problem; Large Size High Heels addresses longer feet.
You can also gift useful maintenance items. A shoe brush, appropriate cleaner, spare heel tips, protective storage bags or a cobbler's service may be less glamorous than rhinestones but infinitely more appreciated by somebody who actually wears the shoes. Check materials before buying products. Suede, satin and patent leather do not share a cleaning regime. I've had my say about that in How to Clean Heels.
Christmas parties with heels for men
For a man who enjoys heels, the holidays are an excellent excuse to use the dressier side of the wardrobe. A beautifully cut suit with Cuban-heeled boots is not remotely outlandish. Higher slim boots can be striking with straight trousers. A deep red pump may look unexpectedly refined with dark clothes, if the wearer is comfortable enough to keep a straight face while an uncle makes the inevitable joke.
Heels don't need to be an announcement of femininity. They might feel masculine, elegant, festive or simply fun. If the family wants a philosophical panel about it, they may apply in writing after dessert. I have already published Men in Heels for those interested in a longer explanation.
The Christmas shoe survival kit
You don't need to pack a cobbler's workshop. Just bring the shoes for the actual floor, blister dressings for small rubbing emergencies, a cloth appropriate to the finish and an alternative pair if the evening is long. For a very delicate heel, avoid grates and soft ground. Don't try to disguise injury with alcohol or painkillers and continue dancing. The party will survive without your heroic sacrifice.
I have occasionally heard people describe a shoe as “worth the suffering.” I prefer the phrase “worth wearing.” The distinction is subtle, which is more than I can say for my taste in red footwear.
Christmas is a time for generosity, extravagance and occasionally questionable purchasing decisions. We may as well enjoy the shoes. But when the party ends, I want to leave on my own two feet, preferably with leftovers.